Much has been written about the reason why the toy became known as Winnie-the-Pooh, which was named for a real bear cub called Winnipeg. The book was written at a time when toys were the tools to learn about socialization; where children were welcome to exist in a world of their own innocent imagination.
Many iconic books have contributed to the prosocial development of generations of children, learning about life, about play, and caring for each other. The books by Milne are no exception and perhaps are seen as one of the most influential ever.
I have lots of books in my study at home and on the shelves in my office. They do take up a lot of space and one day when I shared with one of my patients, an avid reader, that, “My wife thinks I have too many books and I need your help. Can you write her a note please?” This little guy, aged eight, responded with this note: “The more you read the more you learn. So you can never have to much book’s” (sic))
I showed it to my wife and, of course, she smiled.
A few years later, our son died by suicide. In the weeks following Ben’s death, my wife’s soul was soothed at bedtime – one of the toughest times of the day along the grief journey – by a book called The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse written by Charlie Mackesy. One line stood out. It was a conversation between the boy and the horse. “What is the bravest thing you ever said?” asked the boy. “Help,” said the horse.
We shared the book with parents who also lost a child due to suicide. It spoke to these parents and we gifted the book many times.
A few days ago, we arrived in Cape Town, South Africa, and at the house we rented there were many bedrooms to choose from. As synchronicity would have it, after we chose a room, we noticed by my wife’s side of the bed was a copy of The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse.” She sobbed. I hugged her and we knew that we were not alone.
As we learned from the characters in Winnie-the-Pooh, sometimes we cannot fix each other’s pain but we can hang together. We can carry each other’s burdens. We can be here now. With loving awareness, we can all ask what another author, Wayne Dyer, asked himself daily: How may I serve, and how may I love?
Dr. Nieman is the founder of Centre 70. He has contributed columns to the Herald since 1999. He has just completed his 117th marathon – this time in Cape Town.